Before purchasing our new toaster, a replacement for the long-serving Cuisinart that was my contribution to our consolidated living space, my boyfriend, Charles, had researched ergonomic styling, sophisticated functions, optimal coil composition, and even the best crumb tray. Then, parsimonious fellow that he is, he bought the cheapest available toaster.

On its maiden voyage, we waited. And waited. Finally, the telltale pop. 

I timed this new toaster at a whopping six minutes. 

In researching toasting statistics, I found that average toast time was 3.6 minutes, which meant, conservatively, I would lose 1.83 days in excess wait time during the five-year average life of our toaster. Of course, Charles questioned the time management skills of someone who calculates toaster-based time loss.

Click here to read the rest of this in The Boston Globe.